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Dear Bartomeu, I hate you

Dear Bartomeu, I hate you. I truly really do. Yeah, I don’t dislike you. I hate. I just discovered Mbappe was keen on becoming a Barca boy. Master Kylian Mbappe of the most high God had disgust for Real Madrid and only went PSG after you vehemently refused to look in his direction. If you know how to read, you ...

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Dear Pochettino, Go get three good players instead

Dear Pochettino, You probably thought José was gonna park the bus. Well, you could have won if Sisoko didn’t choose to be a team c standard. Your Tottenham couldn’t win without Kane? Reason I usually advise the sale a major player in your squad to a more complete team. Why not sell Kane for £150-200m. Go get three good players ...

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Dear Mum, I deal with international investment

Dear Mum, She asked “What do you do for a living? Then I replied, “I analyze and invest in highly risky business opportunities that has the possibilities of high returns, I deal with international investment of over 1.5, 2.5, 3.5, analyzing and investing in business opportunities across England, Spain, Italy, Germany, France etc.” She was excited but she never knew ...

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Dear Bilic: I had a gossip session with Andre Ayew

Dear Bilic, Slaven Bilic, my man. What’s up? You know you are my man, right? Well if everyone forsake you just because you lost the West Ham job, ordinary West Ham job, just know I am a man that won’t reject you. But… You no try shaaaa! (Yeah, use Google Pidgin English translator for this one). How could you undermind ...

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Dear Mourinho: Play good football with these lads

Dear Mourinho, How are you? I had to quickly send you a letter at half time. I hear its already 2-0. The saddest part of playing safe, dirty or bus-parking football is your team soon learn how not to play good football. Do you want to win Huddersfield at second half? Remove Lingard and Young. Leave Mata. Bring in Rashford. ...

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Dear Koeman: Ancelotti is in town.

Dear Koeman, You were good but somehow became bad. We haven’t sacked you since because we had hope in you. To prevent you from becoming terrible in our hands we have to let you go. Ancelotti is in town. We’d like to test him. Your Boss, Everton FC #YoursFootbally #JN12Football Share This:

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Dear Son: Please die super rich

Dear Son, You have always loved fighting. I was surprised when you initially took to soccer. You must have started smoking weed quite earlier than we noticed. I guess you have already made up your mind on this one. But you are already 38 years old. Mayweather retired at 41. You wanna get killed? Cruiserweight at 38…when do you hope ...

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Dear Ronaldo: Good Guy Messi Was There To Bid You Farewell

Dear Ronaldo, …Can’t get to start informal with you. This may not be an informal letter after all. You won a thing yesterday? Yeah, you made FIFA team 11 too. Good luck on that. You Portuguese have some things in common. I heard a Mourinho in your speech yesterday. Suddenly, after finally catching up, you’d technically give that Messi vs ...

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