Home 6 Yours Footbally 6 Dear Bakayoko,

Dear Bakayoko,

It’s loads of love and prayers from Jersey Number Twelve headquarters. You need some quality prayer session at the moment. So you don’t end up going back to your starting point.
That’s £33 million backward.
Yeah, Tiémoué Bakayoko , when Chelsea offered to pay that £40 million tag price on you, they made Monaco a £33 million profit.
You have a cool name. Your surname sounds like a Surname and First name together — Baka Yoko.
And if I’m in your circle of friends, I will simply call you Yoko. Fine name!
I will be like…
— Hey, Yoko do you have any little idle cash on you?
— Yoko are those your real legs?
Another cool thing about you is your audacity to use vibrant colors. Once upon a time, you had a pink car.
…wait
Yoko! A pink car?
Bros, you deserve an award. You should be called the rainbow king. Your ever color-making hairstyle should serve as your crown.
You came to the EPL with so many potentials mehn! I actually thought it was gonna be the best season for Chelsea fans. I just couldn’t phantom, without envy, the fact that a team will have Ngolo Kante + Bakayoko.
I felt it was cheating to the rest of the teams. Here was an NGolo kante , who was already nicknamed the upgraded Makalele of our time. Teaming with the one whom aside the fact that he was mentored by the makalele was also nicknamed the new Yaya Touré.
So the first time Chelsea lineup you and Kante, I died of jealousy.
But some games later, you started playing like Yaya’s ghost. As things stand, you aren’t even ranked as low as the Manchester City’s oldie. You are losing it fast!
You remind me of Dele Ali. Yeah, the man that refused to play for his roots. The Nigerian that snubbed us for the three lions team. How has it worked for him since the rejection?
Same thing you did. They begged you. With their black knees rubbing the French soil to please play for your homeland. You refused. You went for the juicy France deal. Now France isn’t even calling you up for a friendly game.
Wonder what gets into those dark brains of yours? Maybe the hair dye.
Well I hear, you picked up boxing as a hobby to get you tough while you were at Monaco. My advice to you is, ‘hold on to that skill and knowledge’.
With the way you’ve been playing lately, you may eventually need to change your career. I will send you my Nigerian brother, Anthony Joshua ‘s contact. He can help you make a professional switch.
Imagine you helped Ivory Coast qualify for the Russia 2018 world cup. Now you will be sure of showing off in the epic show of the world cup.
What’s even your excuse for turning your fatherland down? Didn’t you like the Jersey color? Won’t it match with your braids?
I am all ears, write me a reply. Let me know. You have openly declared love for Ivory Coast. Yet you say you love France too. How do you want to play this polygamy game?
 I hear there’s still hope you play for your homeland. Since you really haven’t been used in a competitive game for France.
I hope you will do right the wrong.
As the eldest of your siblings, you need to show the right example. Namory and Youssouf Bakayoko will follow the steps you lay. They are already playing at the same club you started with, Montrouge FC. So please show them the right way.
Now that you are not going to World Cup. You, Pedro, Fabregas, and Drinkwater should help boost each other to form. I suggest you guys enter for Monkey Post World Cup 2018, holding in Ajegunle.
World Cup is World Cup… if you can’t make the FIFA’s Russia edition. You can as well make the AFA’s Ajegunle edition. Ajegunle Football Association will host all the players that can’t make it to Russia.
The Italian players will be there. Other players that will be there are Ghanaians, Cameroonian, Algerians and more. So star faces will grace this competition. The good thing is you don’t enter as a nation. You enter as a selected team. So register with Pedro , Drinkwater , and Cesc Fàbregas as a team.
The monkey post is a two-a-side tournament. With two substitution players. So good luck.
If you think this is a piece of cake, think again. Meanwhile, if you are coming, come along with enough Chelsea Jerseys and cash.
What for?
Don’t worry you will know why. When you see the caliber of people supporting Chelsea. When they see you in Ajegunle. You will understand better. It will be a case of ‘Your life or your Jerseys/cash’.
Come let’s save your career. Your life will never be the same again. After 2 weeks in Ajegunle. If you can survive at Maracana Stadium, Ajegunle…
…England will be a piece of cake.
Until we see in Naija, don’t stop trying. I won’t stop inking.
Yours Footbally,
Ediale

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About Ediale Kingsley

Ediale Kingsley is the Founding Editor of Jersey Number Twelve and Head of the Trends & Sports desk at National Daily Newspaper. He thinks he is polygamous, married to three wives; Football, Laptop and Internet. When not writing, he is writing or prepping to write. These days he is everywhere talking, filming and showing-up football and films. This National Daily trained journalist went to school to be a graduate in accounting.

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