Home 6 Yours Footbally 6 Letter 13: Dear KDB

Letter 13: Dear KDB

Dear KDB,

It’s nothing but complements from all of us at Jersey Number Twelve headquarters. Truly nothing but genuine pleasantries from me. You are the player after my heart for your brains, skills and humble character — the way we like them at Barca.
You are a mini Messi, a villainous Xavi, a monstrous Iniesta and the best of all is how you are still just developing. I envy the Manchester City fans. They have an asset in you.

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In the series, The Game Of Thrones, we see characters in contention to rule and reign over the seven kingdoms. There’s one that is called the mother of dragons — Khaleesi.
She’s got a blonde hair and a feisty character, just like you. You are the Khaleesi of this game coming strong for your throne. We hear of your conquest. How you and Pep are conquering the EPL with goals and brimstones.
You are fire in the color of fire, the father of dragons, the golden player. Is it not funny that Mourinho couldn’t see a Ballon dOr  in you at the age of 22?
A thing Bros Charly Rexach had seen when Messi was only 13 years old. Even with a growth hormone deficiency, Rexach knew Messi was a male Khaleesi.
— King of the Andals, Protector of the Realm, Khaleesi of the Great Green Fields, Father of Dragons, The Unburnt, Breaker of Chains —
Messi broke the chains that kept Barca behind Madrid for years. You broke the chains that kept City behind United for years. That’s how you took City from being the Noisy Neighbor to the Trophy Realm.
You and other Guardiola’s boys, indeed are winning the EPL Unburnt. 
By December the league was already won:
— Most consecutive wins: 18 (between 26 August 2017 and 27 December 2017).
— Most consecutive home wins: 20 (between 5 March 2011 and 21 March 2012).
— Most consecutive away wins: 11 (between 21 May 2017 and 27 December 2017).
You guys are on fire! And this isn’t ordinary fire. This is dragon fire.
I wonder where that fire was when Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois was catching bed penalty kicks from your babe. You allowed him go Scot free. Why? I hope to get answers in your book titled Keep It Simple.  
I learnt you left the said girl, Caroline, for the flirtatious Chelsea player.  Thank God for your good and faithful wife
Michèle Lacroix. I guess Caroline decided to double date with Courtois because you had no car then.
All these ladies like luxury and sweet lifestyle. They are so impatient! Anyways, congratulations on your acquired Mercedes. Hope to get a ride with you soon.
I imagine you take me, on that ride, to go see Courtois. I like to revenge on your behalf. Let me go and date his girlfriend too. So he knows how painful it is. In fact, I will go with my guy, Tuface. He thinks he is a bad guy abi? Wait until Tubaba and I collabo to show him pepper.
When are you visiting Nigeria? Anytime soon? Let’s meet and talk about Iheanachor. Tell me why you didn’t take care of your African brother?
Don’t forget your mum is an African by birth. She was born in Burundi and has also lived in the Ivory Coast. So, you should have treated Kelechi as your younger brother.
Kevin De Bruyne I need to hear your side of the story. I already heard from Kelechi. He said you were always scolding him like a baby. Well, you may not understand. Forget that quoted age on his papers, that guy isn’t your mate sha.
From the thickness of his laps, you ought to have known that the dude is your uncle. Anyways, he is in Leicester City now. He scored a brace the other day, kindly train with him from time to time.
Your son, Mason Milian De Bruyne, will be 2 years old next month. I will get him a gift. I will send a courier. So expect an awesome gift — a very edible and delicious epa and guguru.
You can call it E and G. It’s a local groundnut and corn snack. I just hope your boy has started growing strong teeth. Otherwise your son may just have to suck and swallow the nutty snacks. You will enjoy it too. It’s very crispy.
Well, until we see again. Hopeful in Nigeria. Or in Russia 2018. I do hope you you keep growing in skills and trophies. I won’t stop inking.
Yours Footbally,

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About Ediale Kingsley

Ediale Kingsley is the Founding Editor of Jersey Number Twelve and Head of the Trends & Sports desk at National Daily Newspaper. He thinks he is polygamous, married to three wives; Football, Laptop and Internet. When not writing, he is writing or prepping to write. These days he is everywhere talking, filming and showing-up football and films. This National Daily trained journalist went to school to be a graduate in accounting.

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