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Fellaini’s Smashed Face (The Nigerian Angle)

So this picture trended on the social media, and the character, Marouane Fellaini also joined the talks as he said this about the picture, ‘Thank you to everyone who posted and sent me this’. Many fans in deed approve his strong performance, coming off the bench to be a game changer, despite his team losing the Super Cup eventually to Real Madrid.

But from Frances Chiamaka Osuji’s angle, a facebook post brought the matter to a Nigeria’s perspective, enjoy.



Have you ever been smacked hard by a stray football?



Yes, I have. Twice.

The first one sent stars flying round my head, and for few seconds I was in darkness.

The footballers came out running to pick their ball and noticed that I was hurt, I was the unfortunate victim…

‘Sista no vex’

‘Sorry ma’

‘Eyahhhh kpele o’

‘Is it paining you, sorry.’

The apologies went on and on with one of them trying to dust off the sand from my face, but that didn’t stop the headache that was pounding in my head, so I took a bike home, I was dizzy.

The second time, same place, same footballers, same ball!

My face again! Ahnahn! .

They came out in their two’s with some others climbing over the fence to catch a glimpse. Only this time, one had enough time to apologize very well…

‘My dear, I’m sorry about this, don’t mind that idiot that fired the shot, please don’t be offended’ again he tried taking off the sand off my face, but this time I couldn’t hide my tears, it was paining me faaa!

Again I took the bike and went home. I went home, with a prayer that one day, my Father in heaven will vindicate me, I cannot be chopping football slaps all the time nah, wharrisalldis???

Today, I stopped to buy boiled corn at the junction close to the field where those left legged footballers play, I was still pricing the corn when the ball came flying off the fence again and hit a woman standing at the other side of the road, I watched, will this woman be a Samaritan and wait for the guys to come out and prostrate?

No, she wouldn’t be, cos with the ball under her armpit, she stopped the next available bike, climbed over and told the bike man to take her home.

The guys were on time to see the ball under her armpit, but not early enough to stop the bike man from setting off, so, I watched a marathon race as all the footballers came out to give the bike man a hot chase ON FOOT!.

I paid for my corn and told the woman to keep the change.

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